With the passing of Thanksgiving, we are officially in full holiday mode. I hate to be a Grinch but this time of year has become challenging for me mostly because I’m reminded of how fragile life is. Many of us move through this season rushing to get the perfect gift or complaining about travel, completely taking for granted the true purpose of the holidays; showing gratitude for your blessings, being in the now and sharing moments with loved ones. Admittedly, I am guilty as anyone else in forgetting what the Most Wonderful Time of the Year is really about – I pride myself on creative gift ideas which more often than not takes up too much of my time and causes unnecessary stress – and was recently snapped back to reality as I write this post after having to get unexpectedly get on a plane to Minneapolis last Thursday and say “Goodbye” to a family member who was moved to hospice. And not the “see you later” goodbye. The goodbye that’s said knowing you will never see that person again. Like I said, the holidays have been tough for me but that’s life and this is about to be a no hold barred post that may seem grim but only to those who live in fear.
I hate to be blunt but at some point, we’re all doing to die and our time may come without any warning. If you read my first blog post, I received this message LOUD AND CLEAR while wandering around Chicago one fall weekend. It was a realization that hit me so hard it forced me to turn inward and explore what was keeping me from being TRULY happy, EXACTLY as I am and continues to serve as a gut-check. Recently I’ve noticed I’ve spent so much time WORRYING about what’s next and what IFing various scenarios that I’ve lost sight of what’s right in front of me. I think we can all attest to putting way too much energy into what already happened, which we can’t change, and what will happen, which we can’t foresee. Death has a crazy way of making you focus on what’s most important in the exact moment and I can pretty much assume the time you’ve spent flicking through Instagram and STRESSSINNNG to get the best holiday sales does not line up to how you would describe how you would spend your last day alive, if asked. But yet we CONTINUE to just live in this state of autopilot, emptiness, bad habit, always waiting for the “the perfect moment” to take charge of our lives. So, why do we put our happiness in the hands of other and the timeline of unknown? Your guess is as good as mine. Let’s explore this a little…
STOP whatever you’re doing and take an assessment of your current situation. If you are stuck in a job you hate, an unhealthy relationship or unhappy with your situation, remember: At some point, you will die. I’ve been OBSESSING over Ben Pakulski Muscle Expert podcast interview with Kute Blackson , Stop Lying to Yourself and Start Living Your Purpose, which calls you to examine ALL THE BULLSH*T you tell yourself and reminding you that no matter which narrative you choose – daily lies you accept to get through your day or embracing your truth and the struggles that may arise – there will come a moment in your life where you will look back on all the decisions you did and did not make, opportunities you bravely accepted and ones you wish you had not passed by, the love(s) of your life you missed out on because the timing just “wasn’t right” and have to sit in that truth. Joy, regret, fulfillment, emptiness, whatever your truth may be you will face in death. And I pray that even at this moment you are not holding back anything and experience no feelings of “Damn, if I just had one more day, I would do things differently.” Bottom live, feel your death to be inspired to live your life, now. Take confidence in knowing, (1) You are solely responsible for cultivating your own reality. No one is going to make the life you want or help you be who you want to be more than yourself. Do not rely on anyone else to change your circumstances, and (2) You control if fear rules your life. Living in fear will take away far more than being brave in your decisions ever will, despite how intimidating or scary the situation may seem…and let’s be real, unless the situation threatens your safety or livelihood, most situations are THAT scary (i.e. Telling a guy/girl you’re really into them or, something that gets me hot and bothered, literally, public speaking). By embracing death and taking ownership of your life by CHOOSING not to live in fear, I promise you-you’ll be living your #bestlife in a way you could have not imagined.
I don’t want to be lengthy in this post, but that “F*ck man, this is it.” goodbye moment urged me to share my thoughts and feelings if to no one else but myself. I cannot live life for tomorrow. You cannot live life for tomorrow. It’s LEGIT NOT PROMISED. I encourage anyone reading this to take advantage of the true blessing of today. Be vulnerable with loved ones, kindly dismiss anyone or anything that does not serve your vision, make wonderful magic, choose to not negotiate your peace, grab the reins of your life, and show gratitude for all of your blessings.
Be love. Be light. <3